Too much Info about me

So I have been up to my head in stuff. I have been trying to clean out cabinets that have many years of stuff in them. My grandmother saved everything. Some of it is so Vintage as A.O. says about my couch. I do enjoy seeing old things. I like seeing what things brought us to where we are today. But when the stuff starts to take over the cabinet then it has to go. Or when the stuff has wholes that can't be fixed. Why keep it? I know that she is from a different time period then I am in. I respect that she has been able to keep all of this up. It is frazzling me trying to keep this house up to her standards. I keep hearing this voice telling me to pick things up. And to vacuum the whole house and not to do this. I must add that my grandmother was a top notch house cleaner in her days. Not many people can live up to her standards and many have tried. Another reason that makes it worse is she really wants to do her part but her body will not allow her to. I have learned that she has formed me into a person that I never envisioned being. I want to have a clean house (not so for my first house after getting married). I want things to be organized. I want to be able to invite people over and not have to worry that they think that I am living in a pig sty. Believe me my aunt M. will testify that I was not the best house cleaner. I not filthy just a piler. I will pile clothes in a chair instead of putting them up. I will pile things any where instead of put them where they go. Why I don't know because it takes longer to unpile then if I was to just put it up in the first place(from Aunt M.). I guess that I want my time to be well used and it looks like I get more accomplished if I clean a big mess instead of a little one. Figure that out and I should give you an award. This is the twisted mind on Esther. I have always been that way as a child I would clean the top of my dresser instead of the floor. I would organize all of the knick knacks of the dresser while forgetting the things on the floor. I mean my floor was so covered with toys I can't tell you the color of the carpet. Mom? My mother would always tell me what are you doing pick up the floor. But no it was too over whelming for me to do. So not you are more confused then when you started. Where is my therapy of wait you guys are!!! And not A. I am not paying you until you can figure out the twisted mind of Esther!!! And you can't!!!

I must proudly post that I have washed all dishes that have been in the sink each day since grandma left!!!! Are you so proud aunt m. I really am trying please tell that to grandma. I wouldn't want anything to happen to her heritage she has here. Please try to easy her mind that I am going to take what she has taught me and try to teach it to my kids so that they don't have to learn it the hard way like I did.

I also have been teaching my daughter so that she will be ready for kindergarten. She is very smart and I think that if I had time she could learn lots. I don't want to push her I just want her to be ready for school. I want her to not be like me (failed K not something that I am proud of). Disclaimer: I knew my ABC but was too shy to say them in front of the class. So I was asked to join a class between K and 1st. A develop class for slow people. I want her to succeed. I want her to be smart like her dad. He is too smart for his own good most of the time. If you do not believe me read some of the things he has wrote. I want her to be a smart kid in the class. I have seen what happens if you are not smart in a public classroom. I know she has the abilities and I want her to develop them. Sorry for going off on that subject but I am very passionate about a child's success in their school career. This will develop life time habits and I want them to be that she can succeed and do anything that she decides to as long as she works for it.

This is what happens when I don't get to blog for a while I go way out. Hope I have not scared to many of you away.